Lyrics The Beards' Club - The Beards
The
beards
club
stood
in
the
middle
of
town
And
if
you
didn't
have
a
beard,
then
you
weren't
allowed
At
18
years
old,
Billy
couldn't
grow
a
beard
He
wanted
one
bad
but
he'd
been
trying
for
years
Billy
couldn't
even
grow
a
goatee
And
the
bouncers
always
said,
"No
beard,
no
entry"
By
the
time
he
was
20,
Billy
managed
a
beard
It
was
patchy
and
mangey,
but
it
got
him
in
He
walked
up
to
the
bar,
and
pulled
up
a
seat
The
bearded
man
behind
the
bar
said,
"What'll
it
be?"
Billy
flashed
a
bearded
smile
and
said,
"I'll
have
a
pint"
The
barman
flashed
one
back
and
said,
"Welcome
inside"
Welcome
to
the
beards
club
Welcome
to
the
beards
club
Welcome
to
the
beards
club
Come
the
fuck
inside
Well
everthing
was
going
fine,
til
in
walked
a
guy
Beard
down
to
his
chest,
he
was
7 feet
high
The
barman
said,
"Hey,
I
don't
want
a
scene"
But
the
giant,
bearded
man
walked
up
to
Billy
The
giant
wandered
at
Billy's
face
and
said,
"You
call
that
a
beard?!"
He
grabbed
Billy
by
the
throat
and
said,
"Get
out
of
here"
And
stay
away
from
the
beards
club
Stay
away
from
the
beards
club
Stay
away
from
the
beards
club
Stay
the
fuck
away
Well
the
giant,
bearded
man
was
gonna
throw
Billy
out
But
Billy'd
come
this
far,
he
wasn't
giving
up
now
He
grabbed
the
giants
beard
and
he
tore
it
away
And
everybody
starred
at
his
baby
smooth
face
The
giant's
fake
beard
fell
down
Dowwn
to
the
floor
The
barman
turned
to
the
giant
and
said,
"Sorry,
you're
not
welcome
here
no
more"
So
stay
away
from
the
beards
club
Stay
away
from
the
beards
club
Stay
away
from
the
beards
club
Stay
the
fuck
away
WELCOME
TO
THE
BEARDS
CLUB
Welcome
to
the
beards
club
Welcome
to
the
beards
club
Welcome
to
the
beards
club
BEARDS!
1 You Should Consider Having Sex with a Bearded Man (Live At The Metro)
2 Got Me a Beard (Live At The Metro)
3 Shaved Off His Beard (Live At The Metro)
4 The Beard Accessory Store (Live At The Metro)
5 All the Bearded Ladies (Live At The Metro)
6 My Baby Left Me for a Man Without a Beard (Live At The Metro)
7 Born With a Beard (Live At The Metro)
8 Beards Are Back (Live At The Metro)
9 All the Bearded Ladies
10 There's a Bearded Man Inside Me
11 I Like Beards
12 There's Just Nothing Better Than a Beard
13 I Like Beards (Live At The Metro)
14 There's Just Nothing Better Than a Beard (Live At The Metro)
15 The Beard Accessory Store
16 The Beards' Club
17 You Should Consider Having Sex with a Bearded Man
18 I'm in the Mood...for Beards
19 If Your Dad Doesn't Have a Beard, You've Got Two Mums
20 Shaved Off His Beard
21 No Beard, No Good
22 Born With a Beard
23 Beard For Xmas
24 The Tale of the Amish Boy (And His Beard)
25 A Wizard Needs a Beard
26 Growing a Beard
27 It Only Takes a Fortnight to Grow a Decent Beard
28 Strokin' My Beard
29 Ten Long Years, One Long Beard
30 There's Just Nothing Better Than a Beard (Reprise)
31 If Your Dad Doesn't Have a Beard You've Got Two Mums (Live At The Metro)
32 No Beard No Good (Live At The Metro)
Attention! Feel free to leave feedback.