Текст песни The Groupie Routine (Live) - Frank Zappa
Mark:
I
mean
really...
Really!
Howard:
Rant-ran-n-n-nant
rant-rant-rant...
Mark:
I
mean,
you
guys,
what
can
I
say,
you
guys
are
my
favorite
band.
You
gotta
tell
me
something...
are
you
here
in
Hollywood
long?
I
mean,
I
just...
Howard:
No,
I'm
uh,
we're
recording
here
in
town.
Mark:
You're
recording?
Howard:
Yeah,
at
the
Record
Plant.
Mark:
The
Record
Plant.
Oh!
Howard:
Yeah.
Mark:
Bobby
Sherman
records
there.
I
just
love
Bobby
Sherman,
and
David
Cassidy.
Do
you
know
David
Cassidy?
Howard:
No...
I...
Mark:
Have
you
ever
run
into
any
of
the
members
of
the
Three
Dog
Night?
Howard:
Joe
Schermie
once,
uh...
Mark:
OH-HHH!
They
are
my
favorite
band,
they're
so
professional,
I
mean,
so
creative...
How
about
David
Crosby?
I
mean,
he
so...
IN,
y'know,
I...
Howard:
No,
I
never...
Mark:
He's...
he
just
knows,
I
mean,
he
almost
cut
his
hair,
but
he
didn't,
well...
Howard:
No,
listen,
do
you
know
how...
do
you
know
how
to
get
to
the
Chateau
Marmont
from
here?
Mark:
Not
exactly,
is
it
by
the...
by
the
airport?
Howard:
No,
no,
we
don't...
we
have
a
bus
on
this
particular
thing...
Mark:
Oh!
Howard:
Yeah.
Mark:
Tell
me
one
thing,
do
you
like
my
new
car?
Howard:
Oh,
yeah,
it's
a
Pavilion,
isn't
it?
Mark:
Oh!
Not
just
a
Pavilion,
it's
a
Pauley
Pavilion.
Howard:
Oh!
(Bleagh!)
Yeah,
it's
real
futuristic,
I
like
the
little
naked
man
turn
signals.
So,
uh...
we
gotta
get
up,
y'know
and
go
to
the
studio
in
the
morning,
and
then
we
record
for
about
two
weeks
and
then
we,
uh,
we
leave
again.
FZ:
Ha
ha
ha
ha!
Mark:
Oh
really?
Where
do
you
play
when
you
go
from
here?
Howard:
Uh,
let
me
see...
NEEDLES...
Mark:
Oh,
you
guys
are
so
professional!
Howard:
No,
it's
nothing...
Mark:
I
mean
the
way
you
get
to
travel
to...
Howard:
It's
a...
Mark:...to
all
those
exotic
towns
you
get
to
play
in,
and
playin'
all
these
great
sounding
halls,
I
mean...
Howard:
I'm
immune
to
it,
you
know...
Mark:
Tell
me
something.
Do
you
really
have
a
hit
single
in
the
charts
now,
right
now
I
mean,
with
a
BULLET?
That's
really
important.
Howard:
Listen,
baby,
would
I
lie
to
you
just
to
run
my
fingers
through
your
pubes?
Mark:
Don't
talk
to
me
that
way!
Howard:
No,
what
I
was
saying...
Mark:
I
AM
NOT
A
GROUPIE!
Howard:
I
never
said
you're
a...
Mark:
I
am
not
a
groupie,
neither
are
my
friends
here,
Jim,
and
Ian,
and
Aynsley
and
Don
and
Frank,
none
of
us
are
groupies!
Howard:
Pleased
to
meet
all
you
girls.
FZ:
Hi,
Howie!
Mark:
Tell
'em,
tell
'em,
we
don't,
we
aren't
groupies.
Jim:
Howard...
Howard:
Yeah...
Jim:
We
only
like
musicians
for
friends.
Howard:
That's
right.
Jim:
You,
you
know?
You
understand?
FZ:
We
still
wanna
hear
your
record.
Mark:
And
we'd
still
like
to
come
in
your
bus.
Howard:
Yeah?
Listen
now,
on
the
other
side
of
record
didn't
you
say
that
you
get
off
being
juked
with
a
baby
octopus
and
spewed
upon
with
creamed
corn,
and
that
your
hair-lipped
queen-o
bass-playing
girlfriend
with
the
crossed
eyes
and
the
tits
on
his
shirt
had
to
have
it
with
a
hot
7-UP
bottle
or
he
went
UP
THE
WALL?
Mark:
Oh,
Howie...
Howard:
What's
the
deal,
MAMA?
Mark:
Howie,
all
that's
true,
Howie,
and
sometimes
I
even
dig
it
with
a
Jack-In-The-Box
ring
job.
But
Howie,
we
are
not...
Howard:
At
last!
Mark:
We
are
not
groupies,
Howie,
I
told
Robert
Plant
that...
Howard:
Plant-uh?
Mark:
I
told
Elton
John,
I
told
Steve
Stills...
Howard:
Yeah...
Mark:
And
he
didn't
even
want
to
ball
me.
Howard:
I
can
see
that.
Listen.
The
thing
is,
baby,
I
want
some
action,
yknow?
I'm
only
here
for
a
coupla
weeks
recording
at
the
Record
Plant
with
the
naked
statue
in
the
bathroom
'n
stuff,
I'm
horny
as
fuck.
Listen
to
me.
I
want
a
steaming,
succulent,
juicy,
drippy,
ever-widening
kind
of
a
smelly,
slimy,
many-folded
sort
of
in-and-out
contracting
sphincter
kind
of
a
hole
with
a,
with
a,
with
a...
let's
see,
there's
gotta
be
a
way
I
can
put
this
discreetly...
FZ:
Ha
ha
ha!
Howard:
Let's
say
we
hop
in
the
aisle
over
those
guys
in
the
blue
and
FUCK,
BABY!
Mark:
Hey,
hey,
hey!
I'm
in
this
band,
man!
I
told
you
that
many
times.
No
matter
what
goes
on.
Listen,
it
just
so
happens
tonight...
I
mean,
this
is
unbelievable.
Are
you
a
Virgo?
Howard:
No...
Mark:
I
mean
it
just
so
happens
tonight
me
and
my
girlfriends,
well
we
came
here
lookin'
for
a
guy
from
a
group...
Howard:
Ahhh!
Mark:
But
just
not
ANY
guy
from
ANY
group...
Howard:
Yeah?
Mark:
We're
lookin'
for
a
guy
from
a
group
with
a
DICK!
Howard:
Well!
I
can
show
you...
Mark:
But
he's
gotta
have
a
dick
WHICH
IS
A
MONSTER!
WAHHHHH!
Howard:
That's
me!
You
peeked.
That's
me,
you
little
Westwood
wench
nipple
queen!
Take
me,
I'm
yours,
you
hole...
Fulfill
my
wildest
dreams...
Mark:
Oh,
oh,
oh,
anything
for
you,
my
most
seductive
pop
star
of
a
man...
Howard:
Yeah?
Mark:
Picture
this
if
you
can...
Howard:
Okay,
I'll
try...
Mark:
Bead
jobs...
Howard:
Bead
jobs!
Mark:
Knotted
nylons.
Bamboo
canes.
Three
unreleased
recordings
of
Crosby,
Stills,
Nash
and
Young
fighting
at
the
Fillmore
East.
Howard:
Oh,
no...
Mark:
Two
unreleased
recordings
of...
of
the
Grateful
Dead
sitting
in
with
Mel
Torme.
Howard:
Yeah...
No,
I...
oh,
man,
oh,
I,
I
just...
I
CAN'T
STAND
IT!
You
understand
me,
baby,
I
mean...
I
CAN'T
STAND
IT!
I
CAN'T
STAND
IT!
I
CAN'T
STAND
IT!
[...]
ON
FIRE!
I'M
GOING
HOME!
I
GOTTA
SEE
MY
BABY!
I'M
GONNA
LOVE
HER
SO
MUCH!
I
CAN'T
STAND
IT!
1 The Florida Airport Tape (Live)
2 Once Upon a Time (Live)
3 Sofa, No. 1 (Live)
4 The Mammy Anthem (Live)
5 You Didn't Try To Call Me - live
6 Diseases of the Band (Live)
7 Tryin' to Grow a Chin (Live)
8 Let's Make the Water Turn Black / Harry, You're a Beast / The Orange County Lumber Truck (Live)
9 The Groupie Routine (Live)
10 Ruthie-Ruthie (Live)
11 Babette (Live)
12 I'm the Slime (Live)
13 Big Swifty - Live, 1988
14 Don't Eat the Yellow Snow - Live
15 Plastic People (Live)
16 The Torture Never Stops - Live
17 Fine Girl (Live)
18 Zomby Woof (Live)
19 Sweet Leilani (Live)
20 Oh No - Live, 1988
21 Be In My Video (Live)
22 The Deathless Horsie (Live)
23 The Dangerous Kitchen (Live)
24 Dumb All Over - Live
25 Heavenly Bank Account - Live
26 Suicide Chump - Live
27 Tell Me You Love Me (Live)
28 Sofa, No. 2 (Live)
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