Текст песни Slobb - Omen

I just dropped two turds in the sink
Haven't done the laundry in about three weeks
It's amazing how I manage to stay clean
When there's garbage everywhere and there's shit in my sink
Then you walk into my room, it's a mess
There's pizza on the floor and you can smell the fuckin' sweat
There's no sheets on my bed and I've got boxes on my desk
I never wash my clothes, so all my jeans distressed
I got milk in my fridge that expired in '07
Got a jar of mayonnaise that expired in '11
I don't cook, I don't clean, I just heat up lean cuisine
Now I'm watchin' episodes of Family Guy on my TV

Hey, hey Graham, can you pass me the, uh, Cheetos?
Yeah, the one under the couch or the one under the TV?
Just give me both, I'm kinda hungry
Okay, that's chill
Yo, we got the green flavor!
Ew!

I just dipped my balls in the ranch (It's great!)
Now your girlfriend lick it off, 'cause I ain't got a plate
'Cause my roommate took a shit in the sink (I'll clean it up)
Man, I don't really care... 'cause why should I care?
I got thirty cans of NOS stacked up by my couch
There's a puddle at my feet I don't know nothin' about
'Cause I'm way too 'fraid to find out what it is
I'm like thirty-five percent sure it ain't my piss
My bed's just a sheet on the floor
By the dozen stained sheets sittin' feet from the drawer
I ain't even seen the shower in a week
I don't get it, I sprayed Axe, but the room still reek

Gotta take a shit... so I take out the poop bucket
Now I gotta wipe but we don't got wipes
So I gotta get the vacuum and suck it
But the vacuum was jammed, so I pull up my pants
And I take a deep breath, and I just use my hands, yeah
Just me and my roommates, chillin' at the dump
I just moved about an inch and I found some new crumbs
Shit's sweet! I don't even have to find a snack
We sit playin' games while we scratch our fuckin' sacks

Ay, my dick's got more cheese than a twenty-inch pizza
Uh, don't shake my hand when you say nice to meetcha
(That was fuckin' off the dome)
(Not really, I wrote that)