Текст песни Amish Paradise (Parody of "Gangsta's Paradise" By Coolio) - "Weird Al" Yankovic
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning, I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight, we're gonna party like it's 1699
We been spending most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
I churned butter once or twice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Livin' in an Amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude?
You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
It's as primitive as can be
We been spending most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Livin' in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
Think you're really righteous?
Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
We been spending most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Livin' in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Livin' in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Livin' in an Amish paradise
1 Like a Surgeon
2 Dare to Be Stupid
3 Fat
4 Lasagna
5 One More Minute
6 Yoda
7 Jurassic Park
8 Melanie
9 Bedrock Anthem
10 Frank's 2000" TV
11 UHF
12 Eat It
13 The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota
14 You Don't Love Me Anymore
15 Trigger Happy
16 Smells Like Nirvana
17 Another One Rides The Bus
18 Polkas On 45
19 I Lost On Jeopardy
20 Dog Eat Dog
21 Amish Paradise (Parody of "Gangsta's Paradise" By Coolio)
22 Gump (Parody of "Lump" By the Presidents of the United States)
23 Everything You Know Is Wrong
24 The Night Santa Went Crazy
25 Your Horoscope for Today
26 White & Nerdy (Parody of "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire featuring Krayzie Bone)
27 It's All About the Pentiums (An Adaptation of "It's All About the Benjamins" By Puff Daddy)
28 The Saga Begins (Lyrical Adaption of "American Pie")
29 Since You've Been Gone
30 Albuquerque
31 Bob
32 Hardware Store
33 I'll Sue Ya
34 Canadian Idiot (Parody of "American Idiot" by Green Day)
35 Pancreas
36 Don't Download This Song
37 Ebay (Parody of "I Want It That Way" By the Backstreet Boys)
38 Trapped In The Drive-Thru (Parody of "Trapped In The Closet" by R. Kelly)
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