Hurricane

Well, I was just sittin' there watchin' the weather channel when it flashed across the screen
News alert, here comes a big one, it's the worst we've ever seen
And just to show you how bad it is, they've named it Beelzebub
Everybody better head for the hills or hunker down and cover up

Hear the wind, feel the rain
It's comin' faster than a freight train
It's such a disaster, they give it a name
It's a hurricane

The wind picks up when the water gets hot
It twists itself into a big ol' knot
You better hang on to whatever you got
It's a hurricane

Well, I switched the channel to CNN, they had reporters on the scene
Yeah, they showed the track of Beelzebub right across the Caribbean
The reporter said the storm was headed for Martinique and Cuba
But he'd stay on the air, even if it blowed him to Aruba

Hi, this is Wolf Spitzer in our Atlanta studio
Switching live to our Martinique reporter, Pierre LeBlanc
Come in, Pierre
Merci, Wolf, ho, ho, ho
Let's talk to this typical tourist here
Pardon me, sir, did you see the hurricane come ashore?

Yeah, I did
I've been hanging on that palm tree up there for the last hour and a half
I tell you, my legs have been flappin' in the breeze like a flag
Soon as this calms down my mind
I'm gon' call up my ex-wife and get a 5000 dollar rebate on my alimony

5000 dollars? C'est quoi?
Yeah, she said she'd kick back five when pigs fly
And I've seen six of them go by in the last 30 minutes
Whoa! There goes another one now
And another one, whoa!

Hear the wind, feel the rain
It's coming faster than a freight train
It's such a disaster, they give it a name
It's a hurricane

Wolf, the third in Atlanta again
Beelzebub has wrecked Martinique, and it's now battering Cuba
Let's go to Havana, and our reporter, Christiane, under the downpour
Lord have mercy, Wolf
This wind is stronger than female Castro's breath
Let's go to this gentleman here
Pardon me, señor, did you see what happened?

Yeah, I did
I probably should have run when it started blowing real hard
But I didn't want to give up my place in line here to see the doctor
You know, my ex-wife canceled my medical insurance
And I'm down here to get some of that free health care
Been in line for three days, I was right behind Michael Moore
I don't know what happened to him
I guess me old Zimbabwe thought he was a double wife

Hear the wind, feel the rain
It's coming faster than a freight train
It's such a disaster, they give it a name
It's a hurricane

Let's go to Jamaica and I'll record a reggae dreadlock
Where the wind has picked up a yacht
And spread it down on top of a minibus
Come in, Reggae
Thank you, Wolf, let's talk to this man here
Hey man, where were you when this ship hit the van?
Ho-ho-ho-ho, did you see it?

Yeah, I did
I was just down here trying to get a voodoo doll that looks like my ex-wife
I got a hat pin here that needs to be stomped into something
I tell you, boy, this wind is something else, ain't it, Reggae?
Ooh-wee! Whoa, there goes my bald cap, and another pig, oh

Hear the wind, feel the rain
It's coming faster than a freight train
It's such a disaster, they give it a name
It's a hurricane

Look out for flying pigs (hurricane)
There's another one!
Pig! (Hurricane)
There's a whole flock of 'em!