Lyrics The Mad March Hare - George Formby

Now listen folks I′m the Mad March Hare, I'm cra-zy as a chap
But if you look around you′ll find folks craz-i-er than me:
"Tell me please", said the walrus to the oyster
"Where's my wife, I can't find her anywere?"
Now if she′s in, the oyster bed without pyjamas
That′ll make her madder than the Mad March Hare
The queen of hearts said "I'll have the king beheaded
Very soon, he′s going to have a scare
When he finds he's got no head to have a headache
That′ll make him madder than the
That'll make her madder than the Mad March Hare
The lion and unicorn were fighting for the crown
On the lawn from early morn
We congregated here and while we waited here
Cookie said, "for the crab I′ve got no salad
Served undressed why he'd be absolutely bare"
Then said the crab, "If I catch a cold and then sneeze my head off
That'll make me madder than the
That′ll make her madder than the Mad March Hare
The parrot man on the perch was gaily swinging
But when he somersaulted in the air
Alice said, "Well, if he should fall and break his contract
That′ll make him madder than the
That'll make her madder than the Mad March Hare"
On the left folks, see the pelican so greedy
He bolts his food and gets more than his share
But if his beak doesn′t hold more than his belly can
Well, that'll make him madder than the
That′ll make her madder than the Mad March Hare
The lion and the unicorn were fighting for the crown
On the lawn from early morn
We congregated here and while we waited here
"Pardon me", said the Duchess to the doormouse
"But had you left your knitting on the chair?"
If the king sits down, he's bound to get the needle
And that′ll make him madder than the
That'll make her madder than the Mad March Hare
"Marry me", said the footman to the rabbit
"Marry thee", said bunny, "Have a care
If I had a fam-i-ly of little tidd-leys
That'll make me madder than the
That′ll make her madder than the Mad March Hare
Tweedle Dum said, "My pants are getting tighter"
Tweedle Dee said, "You′re fatter I declare
Well if you can't do your belly bottom button up
That′ll make thee madder than t'
That′ll make her madder than the Mad March Hare
The lion and the unicorn were fighting for the crown
On the lawn from early morn
We congregated here and while we waited here
"Let's elope", said the monkey to the parrot
"Eee, fly with you", said Polly, "Have a care"
Now if you don′t, start your little monkey tricks
That'll make me madder than the Mad March Hare
I'm the Mad the Mad the Mad March Hare, Brrr