Lyrics Cheltenham Scum - Asbo Slipz

We used to live in Cheltenham, and it was fun we had a
Mental little rental just behind the Norwood pub
It was a lovely place to be, especially in the summer time
In the sunshine
Drinking beer and wine

And so we started to look around we thought we'd try and buy a
House, instead of giving all our money to a
Stranger who was thankless, a landlord who was absent
All our work and blood and sweat
Paying off some other funker's debt

But it was not meant to be
All the places we aspired to live were half a million easily
And so we opened up the net
Looked across the Golden Valley to the land of Glostafari

And now we're living happily in the People's
Republic of Quedgeley, no finer place to be
We've been ten whole years in Gloucester
But I still feel like an impostor
Still feel like Cheltenham Scum

Of course, there's things I'm going to miss
The jazz festival
The jazz greats like
Sophie Ellis Bextor
Murder On The Dancefloor
Oh yes

Well I thought I would miss the place but
I've never looked back 'cos it
Turns out that Gloucester's ace
The people here are friendly
And they don't have airs and graces
No agendas with two faces
All they care about is rugby
And no-one seems to judge me

Here's something to reflect on, I lived in Cheltenham
For five whole years - but I never made a friend there
Might just be bad luck, maybe I was drinking in the wrong pub?
Well I don't think so - 'cos I was drinking everywhere

So if your face doesn't fit
Take a trip across to Gloucester, where they couldn't give a shit
Could it be because of all the spooks?
All the secret motherhubbards down in GCHQ

So if you need me you can usually find me in the
Deans or in the Turks, Drunken Duck or working up a sweat
At jam night at the Rene, down the Pelican, occasionally
Still feel like Cheltenham Scum

Cheltenham Scum - when do I qualify?
Cheltenham Scum - as Glostafari?
Cheltenham Scum - I'm still
Cheltenham Scum