Lyrics I Played On My Spanish Guitar - George Formby

I'm Bull Tonsilliter,
The finest bullfighter that ever came out of Madrid
With bulls I can juggle,
Though madly they struggle, they can't get away from this kid
There's nobody else could be keener,
It's a treat to watch me fight the bull
I chase them all round the arena and make nasty scars on their skull
Then I play on my Spanish guitar, tralla, la, la, la, la, la, 1a, la
It must be a good 'un, it isn't a dud 'un,
I bought it at Woolworth's bazaar, ha, ha

The president's wife is the curse of his life
She loves drinking wine till she's full
One night she got canned and fell out o' grandstand
Right onto a nasty big bull

Then over it's head the bull tossed her
I laughted and began to recite
"There was a young lady from Gloucester"
And the bullocks all roared with delight

Then I played on my Spanish guitar
Now I'm sure that old dame's got a scar
The bull caught her bending, it's really heart rending
She's got to stand up in the car, ha, ha

I've had lots of fights and I've had a few frights
There was once when the bull got me down
He jumped on my corns and stuck both of his horns
In my shanty in old shanty town

His eyes they were staring and glassy
I could feel his hot breath in my ear
So I stabbed him three times in the chassis
And wished him a happy new year

Then I played on my Spanish guitar
While the people all shouted "hurrah"
That bull got a shock, so he turned into Oxo
You'll find him on sale in the bar, ha, ha

I've left old Madrid, it's a good job I did
I'd get shot if I went there again
They gave me the sack but I got my own back
They'll be sorry they chased me from Spain

I'll bet that old town is excited
In the bull ring there'll be lots of rows
But the animals, they'll be delighted
'Cause I've mixed all the bulls with the cows

So I play on my Spanish guitar
If I practise I'll soon be a star
But don't tell a soul, 'cause I'm going on the dole
Till I've mastered this lousy guitar, ha, ha