Lyrics Our House Is Haunted - George Formby

The ′ouse that I live in is 'aunted
I′ve 'eard funny noises of late!
For one evenin', in the back kitchen I′ll swear
I saw a man′s shadow go creepin' in there!
When I told the wife she said, "′Ush, it's a ghost
And you′d better get off to bed!
Keep out of 'is way, don′t let 'I'm see you
Every man that ′e looks at drops dead!"
I′m terrified out of me life
I'd leave the ′ouse but for the wife!
Our 'ouse is ′aunted
I'm sure there′s a ghost in the 'ouse!
One night, death-like silence was 'eard all about
To make matters worse, all the lights, they went out!
The wife said to me, "Off to bed
And I′ll see if I can find the ghost!"
She went in the pantry; "Don′t move!", someone said
Then I 'eard things like knives bein′ sharpened, I turned red!
When a voice said, "Where is 'e?", I fell out of bed
Oh I wish we were rid of the ghost!
One night as I sat in me bedroom
I ′eard a disturbance downstairs
Someone screamed and said, "Oh, you mustn't do that!"
I locked me room door and ′id under the mat!
I used to 'ave three suits of clothes once, to wear
But now I can only find one!
I said to the wife, "Where's me clothes?", she said, "′Ush
And I′ll see if the ghost has 'em on!"
She says through brick walls ′e can get
'E′s been through my pockets I'll bet!
Our ′ouse is 'aunted
I'm sure there′s a ghost in the ′ouse!
Every night, round the place softly creepin' he goes
But my wife′s not frightened, her courage she shows!
Each night I can 'ear him below
And my wife knows I′m frightened the most!
She gets up and leaves me in bed, filled with fright
While downstairs, for hours she hunts him left and right
I 'aven′t seen 'er since eleven last night
Oh I wish we were rid of the ghost!