Lyrics Dig My Grave - Shius

Dear diary I dug my grave again
They think I'm happy but I can't seem to pretend

Dear diary I think I'm still depressed
It should be obvious, I've got no reason to stress
But when the night comes in, and the room gets dark
I find myself stuck in this hole that I'm digging for myself

(Again and again)
Cause I can't seem to change, and I can't seem to be free
Even though the storm has passed there's still rain falling on me
I am scared to change, I am scared of happiness
I'll admit that, in a grave that I continue to dig

The depression gets deeper, every time I think I'm through
There's no light at the end, when I look through this view
And I want to be happy, yeah I know I want to change
But I'm terrified of ever coming out of this cage
So spare me the pain, this inner turmoil of mine
Medication will not help unless I want to be fine
I am scared of love, I am scared of trust
I am scared to change cause if I fall I know I won't get out

(Again and again)
And I can't seem to change, and I can't seem to be free
Even though the storm has passed there's still rain falling on me
I am scared to change, I am scared of happiness
I'll admit that, in a grave that I continue to dig

Dear diary I dug my grave again
They think I'm happy but I can't seem to pretend

Dear diary, when is enough, enough
I know I want to move, but lag behind with every step
Despair is quicksand here, I am walking as I sink
But I'll be damned if I let my fears become the best of me
Let me think before I move, let me plan my own escape
I'll rely on this rope, that leads outside of this maze
Anger fuel me through, I will live even in spite
I will not let myself die, in this broken state of mind
I will not let myself die, in this broken state of mind

(Again and again)
In this broken state of mind

Although I can't seem to change, and I can't seem to be free
The storm has passed and there is no rain that is falling on me
I am scared to change, I am scared of happiness
I'll admit that, in a grave that I am digging to be free