The Old Cane Bottom Chair

Now we′ve got a chair at our house, it's an antique worth a lot
It′s a very rare chair is our chair, it's the only chair we've got
Now when we had the bums in they left our house so bare
The only thing they left us was the old cane bottom chair
Our family all take turns to sit down I declare
It′s my turn Friday fortnight for the old cane bottom chair
It′s been the seat of trouble from the start
Yet nothing could be closer to my heart
We had it newly varnished and mother got a scare
She cried I'll stick forever to the old cane bottom chair
It used to be in Fleet Street when Sweeney Todd was there
He polished off his victims in the old cane bottom chair
A tin tack on the woodwork tore auntie′s underwear
She felt the breezes blowing through the old cane bottom chair
It's been the seat of trouble from the start
Yet nothing could be closer to my heart
At school my teacher caned me, the rod he didn′t spare
For weeks I couldn't sit down on the old cane bottom chair
One morning Jessie Bailey, she sat the triplets there
Our tom cat had a shower, neath the old cane bottom chair
When I was young and skinny, the first time I sat there
I slipped through the hole in the middle of the old cane bottom chair
It′s been the seat of trouble from the start
Yet nothing could be closer to my heart
There's two chairs we're proud of, a great historic pair
The grand old throne of England and the old cane bottom chair