Текст песни Vampire - TurtleFrogMan
I
was
born
over
600
years
ago
I
remember
the
evening
quite
clearly
I
was
a
farmer
with
a
wife
and
two
children
in
tow
And
I
recall
that
I
loved
them
quite
dearly
But
I
patronized
a
brothel,
a
poor
choice
so
it
seems
You
see,
my
wife
was
a
god-fearing
person
And
I
suffered
from
deviant
sexual
dreams
That
left
unfulfilled
would
certainly
worsen
Having
chosen
a
prostitute
and
agreed
on
a
rate
At
my
request,
hands
and
feet
both
were
bound
She
climbed
onto
my
face
and
with
the
force
of
her
weight
In
her
womanly
juices
I
drowned
And
I
awoke
to
be
this
hideous
creature
The
need
for
food
and
water
now
moot
I
possessed
did
I
this
hideous
feature
To
live,
I
must
consume
the
juice
produced
within
the
feminine
fruit
Vampire
I
thrive
on
what
a
woman
produces
I'm
nourished
by
her
vaginal
juices
Vampire
Vampire
Vampire
It's
strange
the
things
that
fate
often
brings
us
I'm
starving
to
perform
cunnilingus
Vampire
Vampire
So
for
600
years
now,
I
seek
the
places
women
dance
The
food
supply
is
marvelously
ample
Once
I
lock
onto
a
victim,
I
can
put
her
in
a
trance
Allow
me
to
provide
you
an
example:
I'll
spot
a
girl
who's
young
and
pretty,
perhaps
a
bit
naive
Like
grocery
shopping,
learn
to
read
the
label
And
I'll
coax
her
into
trusting
me,
"i've
got
nothing
up
my
sleeve"
And
then
arrange
for
us
to
have
a
corner
table
I'll
say
something,
like
"you're
lovely
what
brings
you
here
tonight
And
she'll
respond
with
BLAH
BLAH
BLAH
BLAH
BLAH
BLAH
And
I'll
say
"my
goodness
aren't
you
witty,
so
refined
and
erudite"
And
then
she
says
"YA
DA
YA
DA
YA
DA
YA
DA
YA
DA"
I'll
flag
the
waiter:
"please
bring
a
water
for
my
very
thirsty
friend
For
the
best
juice,
you
should
keep
your
prey
hydrated
And
after
all
these
years
of
practice,
I'll
guarantee
by
evening's
end
Between
her
naked
thighs
my
hungry
face
and
mouth
will
be
completely
situated
Vampire
I
bring
women
such
immense
satisfaction
With
the
technique
I
employ
for
extraction
Vampire
Vampire
Vampire
A
vagina's
like
a
sponge
yet
it's
porous
I
know
my
way
around
a
clitoris
Vampire
Vampire
But
There
were
nights
when
even
Michael
Jordan
wasn't
on
his
game
As
is
true
in
any
specialized
endeavor
In
spite
of
all
my
successes,
all
the
women
who
have
came
It
was
such
a
night
that
changed
my
life
forever
This
gorgeous
gal
sat
all
alone
and
I
had
no
time
to
grapple
The
club
was
closing
and
I
was
very
near
starvation
I
sat
with
her
and
as
we
spoke
I
observed
an
adam's
apple
But
I
ignored
that
and
won
the
battle
of
persuasion
We
left
the
club
together,
arm
in
arm
with
no
refusal
And
once
in
her
apartment
safely
in
She
sat
down
on
the
couch,
I
dove
between
her
legs
as
usual
But
found
a
penis
where
vagina
should
have
been
I
thought,
After
600
years,
am
I
kicking
the
bucket?
As
I
was
face
to
face
with
this
lady's
throbbing
dick
In
desperation,
I
decided,
that
I'd
might
as
well
just
suck
it
And
the
protein
I
extracted
from
this
gorgeous
lady's
penis
did
the
trick!
Vampire
600
years
ago
could
not
have
forseen
this
In
a
pinch
you
can
just
substitute
a
penis
Vampire
Vampire
Vampire
This
story
wasn't
really
meant
to
offend
you
It's
just
I've
doubled
up
the
size
of
my
menu
Vampire
Vampire

1 Morning Wood
2 Vampire
3 We're Not Stoppin' Til We Get There
4 The Elusive Beast Known as Big O
5 A Responsible Drunk Looks For A Ride Home
6 Internet Porn
7 He Spanked Me
8 My Truck
9 Daddy's Got His CPAP On
10 My Autopsy
11 The Feen-A-Mint Kid
12 I Had A Talking Anus
13 Couples Swap
14 Brotherhood of the Not Very Well Endowed
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