Текст песни He Spanked Me - TurtleFrogMan

Let's stop pretending, we both know that you have been untrue
And in order for our wedding to move forward
I need to know explicitly what went on with you two
What happened when the the bedroom lamps were lowered

I'm begging you, would you do me this favor, would you do me this difficult solid
Don't spare me even one grotesque detail
No matter how perverted, how upsetting or how squalid
Be honest and our love just might prevail

And so she me took by the hand and said I'm glad we've had this talk
The burden of this guilt has made be sickly
For starters, you should know he had a very tiny cock
And the whole affair was over very quickly

You and I were broken up and he was drunk consoling me
We'd done tequila shots with salt and lime
And before I knew what happened he was on the top controlling me
But I only thought about you the whole time

And I bought this explanation, as they say hook line and sinker
And from that day forth agreed the dead to bury
And alcohol is a powerful drug, I should know I'm a profligate drinker
One drunken mistake shouldn't wreck our intentions to marry

A week has passed, we're in the kitchen, groceries we're unloading
And she was acting very strangely, quite neurotic and distressed
And you could hear the hiss of the fuse of the bomb that was soon to be exploding
She said, "I have something I must tell you" and in our kitchen she confessed

She said, "He spanked me"
And in anger I punched at the window and shattered the glass.
She said "He spanked me"
"I laid over his knee pulled my pants down and he spanked my ass"
I yelled, "He spanked you?
But You promised me that it was quick and was boring
And only in missionary"
I cried "He spanked you?
I had almost forgiven your treacherous whoring
I wanted so much to marry!"

Our wedding plans were cancelled and a deep depression befell me
I should have known that the chances she told me the whole truth were slim
The man that had spanked her was also in love with her
He threatened to call me and tell me
And that's why she confessed for fear that I'd hear it from him

She was bad for me and I for her but hey, that's what you get
As its often said, the heart wants what it wants
I'm glad we didn't marry but I must say I do regret
I never got to spank her even once

She said, "He spanked me"
And in anger I punched at the window and shattered the glass
She said "He spanked me
"I laid over his knee pulled my pants down and he spanked my ass"
I said, "He spanked you?
But You promised me that it was quick and was boring
And only in missionary
I said "He spanked you?
I had almost forgiven your treacherous whoring
I wanted so much to marry!"